A Message to the Youth: The Creator Never Puts a Dream in Your Heart You Cannot Fulfill

A Life Created, Not Planned: What I Told the Youth (and What I Had to Remind Myself)

For most of my adult life, the idea of standing in front of a room and speaking publicly was something I genuinely could not do. Not "wouldn't." Could not. Stage fright had me in a grip that felt like a physical wall, and it followed me well into my thirties. I was 38 years old before I started to move through it.

Now, speaking is what I want to do more than almost anything else.

That shift didn't come from a course or a trick. It came from the slow realization that I had stories people actually wanted to hear, and that something happens when we share our truths out loud. We stop feeling alone in our own lives. We recognize each other. We learn from paths we didn't personally walk.

When I was invited to speak at a youth summit, I didn't hesitate. I knew exactly what I wanted to give them: not a polished blueprint, but an honest account of a life that didn't go to plan and somehow ended up exceeding every dream I quietly held. An uncommon life. My life.

What follows is the talk I gave. I hope something in it lands for you the way I hope it landed for them.

The Creator Never puts a dream in your heart you cannot fulfill

I graduated in the class of 2000 and my original dream was to be a teacher.

As the year 2000 turned a corner, not only did we survive the impending Y2K, those of us facing graduation were making plans and moves towards our goals and next steps.

Knowing I needed a degree to become a teacher I tried my best to complete paperwork for a few of the local colleges, but I simply could not work out the paperwork. I just couldn't figure it out. I also wasn't aware at 17 years old that there were people around me willing to help if I had asked. It didn't even occur to me to ask someone. I was the first in my family to graduate from high school, let alone consider post-secondary. So the weeks passed, deadlines were missed, and I chose to continue to do what I knew how to do.

Watch kiddos.

Since I was in grade 6 parents would pay me to walk their kids home from school. I babysat for the same family for 10 years in my youth. We are all still in touch today, and the little girl Katie I named my daughter after is a teacher now. How fun. This family was great and they increased my hours so I could earn a bit more, and one day the dad came home and told me one of his clients owned a local gym and they were looking for someone to work in their daycare.

I had an interview and was hired and by end of summer I was working full time in a gym daycare playing with kids while their parents worked out. Really I played a lot of Super Nintendo. Super Mario World. Kids would love to watch me beat the game in under an hour via Star World. It was an easy gig and I loved being around kids.

It wasn't long before one of the dads of the kids I watched approached me. He was the first of 3 literal and bona fide geniuses I worked for in my life. He approached me with his wife one day and said "My wife really likes you and she wants me to offer you a job."

I asked him what his company did and he explained to me that he developed software for major sports like the NFL, NBA, NASCAR, Indy Car and more. I explained I had little experience with computers outside of gaming.

Coniah was his name. He told me he would show me everything I needed to know and this was the start of a 10 year career in the motorsports and race car industry. He taught me data entry, programming. He even sent me to BCIT to get classes on programming, supporting my development every step of the way. I entered adulthood in this company. I travelled throughout America and learned the newest technologies at the time.

You just never know who you are going to meet. You never know who is watching you be yourself. You never know what opportunities are around the next decision.

My prayer for you is that you always have the courage to say yes to opportunities.

Hand on heart: "I have the courage to say yes to opportunities."

After years with Coniah I ended up in Squamish working for another race car team. SUBARU Rally Team Canada had their shop here. The second genius I worked for was Patrick Richard, Canadian Sports Hall of Fame inductee. He was also a software developer, professional snowboarder and race car driver, and he hired me because of the tech experience I had gained and took a chance on me. I learned a lot from him. I learned about logistics, managing a team, and eventually met my husband working on that race car team.

It also brought me to Squamish, making me the first to leave the city of Vancouver in many generations.

You will be faced with many choices in your lives. Decisions around relationships, schools, jobs, relocating, going out on your own. The Spirit World once said to me "You will get to where you are meant to be. The choices you make determine the stories you will share when you get there."

Life is a series of choices. One thing I have realized is every choice leads you to a good story in life. Your inner world will make these choices feel like a tightening, maybe bigger than it even is. Breath is the medicine. Making space in your body, your mind. It is accessible always and is good for mind, body and spirit. Never hesitate to take some deep breaths before deciding, responding, and exercising your next choice.

For those that feel called to do it a little different: you are not the black sheep. You are the blueprint. You are blazing a new trail that hasn't been walked before. You are braver than you realize.

After 5 years and many championships with SUBARU Rally Team Canada I had an experience with my indigenous culture that changed my world view. It changed me as a person. Someone close to me that I cared deeply for was struggling with addictions. I had a friend at UBC who was doing her thesis on indigenous health issues and I asked her if there were any indigenous ways of being that could support those with addictions.

Through a series of very fortunate events my friend found my relative a spot in a healing house, a space for men where they connect to nature, culture, traditions and themselves. Through this reconnection to culture my loved one had a truly miraculous sobriety journey that astounded me. I had seen them navigate our current systems for decades with no real relief, but the act of reconnecting to one's culture and the teachings of our culture found sobriety.

I was so astounded I wrote my friend a letter thanking her and sharing my reflections. She passed that letter on and it ended up being published in an annual report by a group that was advocating to form a health authority for indigenous people and by indigenous people. For two years this organization asked me to come work for them, and eventually I did leave my motorsports career to pursue this new opportunity.

I was one of the first 30 hires of what is now known as The First Nations Health Authority, with over 1500 staff. I became a confident woman here. I was given roles and projects that stretched what I thought I could do. As one of the few without a formal expertise I was given provincial health initiatives like the Step Up Challenge, where as indigenous people we walked the surface of the planet multiple times.

I became the spokesperson for our wellness pillar of respecting tobacco. As someone who had successfully quit smoking colonized tobacco, I started growing it for ceremony and ritual. Real tobacco as a way to restore balance with the medicine. My work asked me to be on a podcast about my quitting journey, which was my first experience podcasting and sharing my vulnerable stories, something that later became part of my identity.

I organized gatherings with thousands of elders and youth and spent 10 years reconnecting to my indigenous roots, working for our people. I truly never thought I would leave. I had goals of becoming COO and truly retiring there.

In this job I had a lot of imposter syndrome. A feeling like I wasn't good enough. Like my lack of a degree in some way deemed me less worthy of the projects and acknowledgement I was getting. It was here that my third boss, a real mentor, a real leader for me, someone I looked up to, heard my insecurities and taught me that not every inner thought is truth. That maybe sometimes how I see myself is me being hard on myself. I learned to question that inner voice and lean into self-compassion. One of my greatest tools for spiritual wellness is self-compassion.

One day my dreams returned. Through the birth of my firstborn, Katy, KJ. With her arrival came a peace, a love, I had yet to experience. With my maternity leave I started meditating, connecting with authors and people who inspired me. I started learning more about intuition and finding this new way of being that incorporated my reconnection to culture and the world of intuition and energy. I started to become known as someone to go see when you're struggling. My inner peace was starting to make an impact on others and for the first time in my life I felt what you hear people say is Purpose.

I truly believe asking "What is my Purpose?" is simply asking "How can I be of use? How can I be helpful?"

I started a podcast a few years into my spiritual journey, 9 years ago now, and I named it Spirit School. This podcast went on to half a million downloads in over 30 countries. It was a top 10 podcast at one point and my thoughts, stories and teachings about a spiritual life and the spirit world became international. It was during the pandemic I decided to go full time and start my online school Spirit School, which became an international school of spiritual studies. Now I find myself with a national TV show airing this fall and I am a TEACHER that people travel around the world to come see.

The Creator never puts a dream in your heart you cannot fulfill.

26 years after being Class of 2000, I am a teacher. Maybe an unconventional teacher by what society says is the norm, but my dreams came true. I am the blueprint for my family. I gathered enough courage to say yes to the opportunities that came my way, focusing on relationships with people I meet and who see something in me I may not see myself.

My life exceeded all my expectations years ago and I am happy to say I truly have a well-lived life. Created, not planned.

What is your dream?